4 Ways I Was Convinced Pregnancy Would Destroy My Life

Uncategorized Jul 24, 2020

Originally published in The Asbury Park Press, I'm happy to share this on my blog here as well. :-) -- 

I remember being 21 and wanting nothing more than to be married, barefoot and pregnant in front of the stove. At 25, I started Vanessa Joy Photography (www.VanessaJoy.com) and my ideal future was being a successful wedding photographer. When I was 27, my goals were to be the top wedding photographer and speak all around the world teaching others what I know. Now that I’m 30 and have achieved all of those things (except the pregnant part) and more, I’m ready for whatever is next. The way I look at life is that there’s too much to do to only one thing, and I’m ambitious enough to want to do it all.

Living in Freehold and working side-by-side with my husband, Wedding and Corporate Film-Maker Rob Adams Films (www.RobAdamsFilms.com), has most certainly fulfilled a few dreams of mine. And traveling around the world to places I’ve never even heard...

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6 Reasons I Hid My Pregnancy for 8 Months

Uncategorized Jul 24, 2020

I’m a 31-year-old New Jersey Wedding Photographer that has been married for 5 years and has over 6 years of stable business ownership. You’d think getting pregnant would’ve been no big deal – but it was for me.

As fate would have it, I wrote an article before I was pregnant called Why I Was Convinced Pregnancy Would Ruin My Life – and it was published in a NJ Newspaper just a few weeks after I found out I was expecting. The article mainly addressed my career and how even the remote possibility of my having children negatively affected my business well before I was even thinking about it. I had seen horrible behavior not only towards me, but also towards other wedding colleagues who dared to start a family. It wasn’t anything I wanted to experience for myself.

However, God has always had a way of going through with His plans for my life, despite my resisting them at times, and in April of 2014 I found out I was pregnant. Let...

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Living My Dream

Uncategorized Jul 24, 2020

Wrote this back in 2015...and shows off my old logo. :-)


I’m sitting in an airport in Rio Brazil. It’s 5:18am. I’ve just finished my favorite typical Brazilian food, pão de queijo and I’m working my way through an overly heated espresso. On my way here while standing in a security line I entertained myself by reading all of the inspirational quotes scattered through my passport. The obvious American phrases like “We hold these truths to be self-evident…” are in there, but the very last one confirmed what I’m about to write.

“Every generation has the obligation to free men’s minds for a look at new worlds… to look out from a higher plateau than the last generation.” – Ellison S. Onizuka


It’s a known fact that I’m a notorious business book nerd. I couldn’t sooner choose a favorite one than pick my favorite star in the sky. But if I were to pick a...

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What is a leader?

Uncategorized Jul 24, 2020

I wrote this back in 2016 and recently just stumbled across it. Thought it was still a good read so here it is. :-)


Merriam Webster defines a leader as a guide.

A guide is defined as “a person who exhibits and explains points of interest,” and “something that provides a person with guiding information.”

Leaders are those we look for to teach us a “point of interest”. They are experts that guide areas of our lives. They are not connoisseurs of all things – then they’d just be a jack-of-all-trades instead of a master of one.

I wouldn’t ask Tiger Woods for marriage advice, but that doesn’t disqualify his ability to teach me a thing or two about what putter to buy.

One of the best things we can learn from is a leader’s failure. One of the strongest ways we relate to our leaders is through their flaws. It’s why every super hero has one.

Even the man of steel has his kryptonite.

Without having flaws and...

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No You Can't Have Your Money Back

Uncategorized Mar 13, 2018

It's crazy story time!

I was holding my cell phone closer to my ear because I couldn't believe what this groom was telling me. 

"My future in-laws were offended by the gift you gave my fiance and I, so we need to cancel your services."

Um.... WHAT?!

I was thankfully controlling my pregnancy hormones while hearing this insanity. Looking up to see my hubby and 2 year old daughter waiting for me to finish up so we can finish our walk to the zoo helped me snap back to earth.

"We're just wondering if we could have our deposit back."

lol - no.

I had the confidence to say no right then and there because it wasn't the first time an absurd attack came upon me at the mercy of my clients. I'm sure it won't be the last.

But the truth is, I wasn't confident that without that job that year I'd be able to make ends meet. Our business can be so unreassuring, right?

I was scared my business was going downhill and I couldn't stop it - ridiculous complaints or...

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